


What Happens When You Drink

by wildwordwomyn



Series: What Happens... [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Friendship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-08
Updated: 2007-11-08
Packaged: 2017-10-09 13:53:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwordwomyn/pseuds/wildwordwomyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tequila worms are bad. So are eggplants and cucumbers and other assorted items found in stores.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Happens When You Drink

Bad things always happen when Jared eats the worm. Jensen knows this by now. Knows not to let him eat it. Tomorrow Jared will be green around the gills and irritated about everything and all around grumpy. Not like his Jared at all. But it also always leads to the craziest fun. Therefore Jensen lets Jared eat the worm. And within a half hour Jared will be up for anything.

It was 4am in Vancouver and there was nothing to do. Absolutely nothing. Which is why Jensen did what he did. Okay, being damn near drunk on cheap tequila didn’t help matters any. And truth be told Jared could’ve said no. Was it really his fault that Jared was so easy to take advantage of? He wasn’t completely innocent. Not all the time…

They went to the grocery store because Jensen said he needed some fruit. It seemed weird, yeah, but, hell, Jared didn’t care. Moving helped the alcohol flow better through his system and stopped the worm from spinning in his intestine. He shadowed him around the aisles, wondering what exactly Jen was looking for. Then suddenly he stopped in the produce section. Right in front of Jay, making him bump gracelessly into him.

“Ooh, eggplants. I like eggplants.” How much was the question. He started running his hands all over the biggest of the pile, little appreciative noises slipping from his mouth. It took Jared a second to understand why until he saw that a 3rd shift security guard was watching them. The young guard, previously weary, perked up at the display Jensen put on.

“Jen,” he chuckled. “What are you doing?” He stole another glance at the guard, who was blushing now.

“Is he still watching?” Jensen whispered out of the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah, and if you make him come I’ll kill you.” Jared answered back.

“Who me? Nope. You’re gonna do that for me. Now grab a cucumber. Biggest you can find.”

Jared, being drunk and a little high from the tequila worm, well, a lot high, followed Jensen’s order. He grabbed the longest, thickest cucumber he could find. And then, being drunk and high, gave it a hell of a blow job. All the while the guard watched. He never let out a peep during the show. Jensen, for his part, continued feeling up the eggplants, turning to smile openly at the guy. Whether or not he came during their display was not a question Jared wanted answered. But they were followed by him the rest of the time they were in the store. Jensen, just to mess with his head, also grabbed a tub of cottage cheese, cherry-flavored condoms, glow-in-the-dark condoms, Astroglide, hot sauce, a watermelon and some white wine.

When they got back up to the front of the store the guard was a good ten feet behind them, but he looked a little scared when they, with Jensen in the lead, headed to the fast lane instead of a U-Scan lane. Another guy about the same age as the guard started to ring up their items. At first he seemed bored. Then, when the damp cucumber beeped he manually typed up the SKU number. He paid more attention when he rang up the condoms, then the cottage cheese, then the Astroglide. Buy the time the watermelon and wine passed over the scanner his mouth was gaping. The last item to be scanned was the eggplant. He looked up at Jensen, who had the audacity to wink.

“Got a big night ahead of me,” he remarked seriously. “This one,” indicating Jared, “is never satisfied with normal sex. Always the kinky stuff. Did you know that he can fit that watermelon-?”

He didn’t get to finish. Jared, face as red as a beet, paid cash for the lot, grabbed their bags, threw the watermelon at Jensen and forcefully shoved him out of the store, protesting unnecessarily about all the places on his body the 10 pound watermelon definitely would _not_ fit. They laughed all the way home. Of course, it wasn’t until Jensen started laying the bounty out on Jared’s bed that Jared thought to ask why he’d bought all that stuff he didn’t plan to use. Jensen, being Jensen, responded that he most certainly did have plans for it all. Then he winked, licked his lips, and moaned in what seemed to Jared to be anticipation. That was the moment Jared mercifully passed out.


End file.
